I passed my six year mark in Nigeria recently and like I do every month, I took stock of my journey so far. I remember seeing a comment on LIB years ago that I’m the kind of person who can’t handle life, I just need to find an Otedola and be a kept woman. It made me chuckle but it also stayed with me. I find it curious that the solution I am often met with when asking for what is right, fair or contractually just is ‘make your life easy, get a sugar daddy’. To be fair, this Nigerian sugar daddy narrative clocks its way round to men in the entertainment industry too but I digress.
It’s certainly been difficult for me living, working and just trying to 'adult’ in this often harsh terrain with unyielding conditions & pitfalls at every turn. I constantly tell myself that someday, it will all make sense as I struggle with how hard it (seems it) must get before it does. Make sense that is.
For what feels (to me) like minor victories, I weigh up the anguish and sacrifice that got me there. At the risk of sounding ungrateful, none of the 'victories’ have felt like it’s been worth it so far. Everyday, I pray for the part where the penny will drop & sense will be made. People say a lot of things about 'white people’ and the perils of living abroad and I must have been lucky and therefore should be truly grateful for my experience in the overs (I am) because, good lord! did the minions of esu crawl out the woodworks to welcome me especially here.
I’ve met a lot of disingenuous people in Naij. People with such darkness and fear in their hearts that they would sooner bury you and your dream than step out of your way & let you be much less help you. From people who refuse to pay for professional services provided, to 'friends’ who steal from you and everything in between. I often feel like GOT’s #Arya and like her, I have a list. Two lists actually - one, I leave for karma, the second and most important, I look forward to repaying to the one of a kind gems that God put in this here space to remind me what humanity is supposed to look like. It was not a dream. #TheNorthRemembers #iRemember #aLannisterAlwaysPaysHisDebts #AryaStark